The Grief Altar: A Sacred Place to Lay It Down

Aug 21

An older version of me would have laughed at this.

Today, I made a sacred grief altar.

For years, I was afraid to feel my grief fully.

Afraid that if I let it out—for the old life I lost, the abuse, the traumas—I’d drown in it.

That I’d never find my way back.

Maybe you’ve had that same thought: What if I get stuck there forever?

But that’s fear talking. That’s not truth.

So I tried something my mentors suggested.

I wrote down the heaviness, the memories, the people, the events.

I placed objects to represent them.

I lit a candle.

And then I let my tears fall.

I felt the ache rise in my throat.

I let the tears run down my cheeks and fall onto the altar itself—

as if I could lay my grief down to rest for now.

With each exhale, I visualized pushing the fear into that space.

And when I stepped back, I could feel it leave my body.

On the back of each slip of paper, I wrote something else: hope. Intention. The flip side of grief.

Because grief may have one voice—but my inner wisdom has another.

When it was done, I felt lighter.

Not because the grief was gone, but because it wasn’t the only thing I was carrying.

I was also holding joy.

I was also holding knowing.

I was also holding hope.

This altar reminds me I don’t have to be afraid of grief.

That if I give it a place, my wisdom has space to speak, too.

And if this is where you are right now—scared to feel it, scared you might not come back—you don’t have to walk through it alone.

I leave space each week to hold space for my community here. You are no longer alone in this.

Your New Life Will Cost You Your Old One