How I’m Rewiring My Brain After Leaving a High-Control Belief System
For a long time, I thought healing meant escaping my past.
Now I see that real healing is about rewiring the patterns it left inside of me—gently, consciously, moment by moment.
I was raised in a belief system that taught me that self-denial was holy, that shame was necessary for growth, and that trusting myself was dangerous.
Leaving that environment was just the beginning.
The deeper work has been in rebuilding the pathways of my own mind and body to move differently through the world.
This is the work of The In Between—and it’s still unfolding.
How I’m Actively Rewiring My Brain
Reframing Self-Care
For a long time, something as simple as taking a bath felt selfish.
Even when I was still part of a church community, the guilt lingered.
It took intentional practice to rewire my mind to believe that self-care is not selfish—it’s sacred.
Caring for myself first allows me to know who I am, honor my needs, and show up for others from a place of fullness rather than resentment or depletion.
Self-care might not make sense to everyone around me.
It doesn’t have to.
Alignment with myself is the deepest offering I can give the world.
Releasing Shame as a Tool for Growth
I was raised in an environment where shame was seen as necessary to prevent sin.
We sang songs about being “wretched sinners.”
We confessed weekly how we had failed.
As a child, I was shamed—and physically punished—into submission.
And for a long time, I unconsciously used shame in my adult relationships, believing it was the only way to catalyze change in myself or others.
Now I know:
True growth never comes from shame.
It comes from love, accountability, patience, and presence.
Letting go of shame has been one of the most powerful rewiring processes of my healing.
Building New Neural Pathways Through the Body
Healing isn’t just cognitive.
It’s somatic.
I’m learning to:
Calm my mind through meditation and breath
Feel and process emotions through my body
Listen to my inner voice—the quiet wisdom that has always been there, under the noise of external judgment
I believe every human carries this wisdom, gifted by Source or God or whatever name we trust.
And I believe many of us have spent so long running from who we are that we forget how to hear it.
When we come home to ourselves—when we heal the abandoned parts of our childhood selves—we begin to access the life we were meant to live.
Not a life shaped by fear.
But a life flowing with freedom, presence, and creation.
The In-Between
The work of rewiring my mind isn’t fast.
It isn’t glamorous.
It often feels invisible.
But it is real.
And every moment I choose gentleness over judgment, self-compassion over self-abandonment, presence over performance—
I am building something stronger than survival.
I am building myself.
This is The In Between.
This is the work.
Thanks for being here.